3 days ago, Kenneth went back to his hometown for Chinese New Year. He left Iris in my care for a week before I pass her to a good friend of mine on the 19th. I fell in love with her at first sight!! I always loved golden retrievers.

Do you know that they are one of the most intelligent breeds?
Some of them are even nurse dogs in the US, they run errands and help the sick with their daily needs.

I was so excited. Here are my plans :
Phases of training Iris into my maid-dog
Phase 1
1. Train her to fetch handphone, blankie, pirroes and etc etc
2. Train her to put blankie over me when I sleep.

Phase 2
1. Train her to cook for me
2. Train her to fold blankie and make bed for me
3. Train her to shut up my sis and bro.

Boy, was I delusioned…….

When she saw my 6 year old brother, she ASSUMED that he was her TOY. My brother used to throw lizards around when he was 1 year old so he went all gung-ho with her.

Also, she keeps biting. EVERYTHING. From door stoppers to rugs to towels to her bed. My hands are also her favourite bite-toys.

The first two days, I slept according to her schedule which are 2 hour naps around the clock. I was sleepy and tired and nasty and annoyed. She kept biting things in my room and creating havoc, how to sleep??

The worst is when I pick up her shit with tissue, she go and bite the tissue ON TOP OF THE SHIT. T_T
At this point, my grandeur illusions of training her into my maid-dog vanished together with all my ill-forgotten ex-es of last eon.

Everyday, I walk her twice in the playground. She is always on a mission to collect something and bring back home. However, she will forget to bring the items INSIDE the house. 😀

She collected pipes, packet drinks, bottles and weird thingamajits.

She has this crazy love for balls. She chased shuttlecocks and basketballs. The best thing is, she oughta get an Oscar for acting cute and obedient around strangers. Those that aren’t afraid of her are fascinated with her.

Ok. This is like the most hilarious thing that ever happened with Iris.
I punished her by grounding her in the balcony one day cuz she bit my iPhone. Yes, my not more than one month old iPhone got scratches cuz of her.
Kenneth, BUY ME NEW IPHONE!!!!

Then, Choi Sun decided to put a lion dance troupe in front of my house to fuck with her. She went berserk. Somehow, she managed to push away the window and jump in thru the grills and into my room. I dunno how she slim down 10kg in 3 seconds to do just that. Men should have this skill.

I didn’t even know she was in my room until she toppled my bookshelf.

Accidents and notti-ness aside, it gives me a certain happiness when I am around her, especially seeing my family grow to love her. They hate dogs, were never dog people.

I was upset one night and starting sobbing uncontrollably next to her. She comforted me and lay on my lap-NOT. She still ran around biting things and eventually bit my hand.

This morning I decided to bring her go hiking up Broga Hill. This is how it looks uphill after walking 1.6 km up. Iris did a good job uphill. If it weren’t for her, I would be stalling. She dragged me along as if I am her rag doll.

We enjoyed the beautiful view after that and lived happily ever after-your head. At the peak, she still have the energy to run around and make friends. She even found a Mac-D wrapper and proudly showcase to all the strangers there.

That’s Iris at the peak. Downhill-queen Iris with Turbo Engine and no brakes installed DRIFTED all the way downhill. She practically drifted me to near-death twice before Snecx came and save the day. He ran downhill with her while she treated the downhill as her playground. She picked up a bottle and ran back up to me.

We had to throw the bottle a few feet away to get her moving without holding her leash. If I held her leash I died di.

5 more days till she leaves. Will I be alive?