This is probably the longest post I have ever written for my blog. To have two bones broken at such a crucial point in my life changes alot of things.
Longboarding – the joy of it
Haze, I ask you to fall when you play longboard. But I didn’t mean to ask you to fall so hard. – Johnny
I have been in and out of hobbies, some were dropped and some stayed. Being a person that is easily influenced by others, I find it difficult to maintain a hobby if I do not have company and friends who enjoy it.
Since young, I have been extremely bad in any sort of sports game. I did surprisingly well in athletics though. I couldn’t dance, play any sort of ball game, balancing games or martial arts. It was exasperating and it remained only a dream where I can do those things.
I started longboarding a month ago. I bought a Joel Tudor Sector 9 board, KY got me some guards and I got myself a skater’s shoe. To my surprise, I fell in love with longboarding. It felt so free, like I am flying. It made me so happy.
Most of all, I wanted to be able to do those things that I couldn’t have done before. I have always been afraid of people laughing at me cuz I missed the ball, fell down or lost my balance. I wanted to be able to do those things and not afraid of sports or my body rebelling against my coordination.
I didn’t want any photos of me longboarding to be public yet, so I didn’t take any. I wasn’t any good yet, you see. All I have is injuries, injuries after injuries. KY and Johnny went mountain biking together soon and life was really perfect for a while.
I longboarded less than 5 times and fell each time. A week before I fractured my leg, I had a sprain on both my knees. I sorta fell on a forced split on the board. Lol. It was painful and my ear got muted for a minute or so after.
How it happened
You played less than 5 times, you fell each time. Sprained once and broken 2 bones. Do you still think that if you continued to play, nothing will happen next time? – KY
It happened in Putrajaya Challenge Park. KY, Johnny and 2 of our friends were biking and I was skating alone. I wasn’t actually alone, there were plenty of skaters. I did some warm up and I wanted to go back to the bowl that I was tackling the week before. I was already successful last week and just wanted to do it again.
Due to the fact that I haven’t fall down that often since 10 years ago, my reactions were weak and I landed in the wrong spot. Imagine holding a bunch of pasta and then you twist it, then slap both ends together. That’s what happened to my ankle. It twisted and my whole body weight slammed into it.
When it happened, I was stunned awhile and I realized I couldn’t move my leg. And the the pain hits. I screamed so loud that I forgot all about embarrassing myself. The skaters came and reassured me. They called for ambulance and got me my phone. They made me comfortable and removed all my shoes and socks.
I was screaming and screaming then. It is not the kind of pain that would make a person cry. It is the kind of pain that made your vision blur and shake everything around you. I was really lucky that the skaters and everyone around me were joking, taking pictures and videos. I was in pain but I wasn’t unhappy.
Everyone was telling me its just a sprain. a dislocation. Ok fine. Just pop it back in and it will be ok. Ya Ya.
Soon after, KY and Johnny came. Then the ambulance came.
This fucker. I hate ambulances. They came, forced me on the stretcher I was wailing and wailing. As I was in the ambulance, some skater outside screamed, “Are you still gonna skate??!”
“YeahhH!!” I screamed back.
Then some random dude screamed, “See you in a month’s time!!!”
In the ambulance, I come to know the definition of pain. KY was in there with me trying to absorb the shock on my leg. BECAUSE THE FUCKING AMBULANCE DROVE RECKLESSLY!
I AM NOT DYING. It’s not a life threatening situation! You don’t have to drive like F1 and fly through bumps and corners when it makes me so fucking painful. My vision was blurring and I was on the verge of losing consciousness. I had to hold the stretcher with my hands to prevent my body from moving. That or let my ankle be flung around. tiu.
At the Hospital Putrajaya, I was greeted with the ceiling. Ceilings and more ceilings. I was brought to the x-ray department and various personnel reprimanded me for screaming. I was angry now, no one wants to be in pain or scream and make a fool of themselves. I wanted to murder the fucking bastard that pinched my leg and dropped it on the stretcher.
X-ray was impossibly painful. I had to turn my leg for front view, side views. Fuck.
When it was done, a nice doctor(finally!) came and told us the bad news. It is not a sprain or dislocation. Both my bones were broken. The big one with a slice through it, and the smaller one with a pyramid chunk shattered.
He said that they will need to put in metal plates and screws in my leg and I will need to wear a cast for 6 weeks. That is complete bullshit. They didn’t account for 3 months of physiotheraphy. I wouldn’t be able to walk for 3 months.
ya lo + u are clumsy prone leh…..dont play anymore la ok pls… – Kimberly
“Cuz my situation is not life threatening…”, they are gonna perform the surgery on me the next morning. I couldn’t sleep the whole night with the impending surgery. At this point, without anyone around me, no jokes or laughter.. I was starting to fear for myself and all the trouble that I will cause others around me.
Just before the surgery, they suddenly realized I had nail polish on and had to remove the nail polish. When I was in the operation room, I had an encounter with the epitome of a bastard doctor who is unprofessional and downright rude.
They placed the drip on me and covered that arm up with the blanket. A nurse accidentally snagged on it, I gave a little shout in surprise and pain. The bastard doctor goes “Eh, kenapa kau jerit? Tak manis tau.”
This is the second time someone said that to me in the hospital. I am really angry now but what could I say to a doctor who might operate on me?
He repeated that sentence again and again while I glared at him. I told him, “It’s a reaction from pain.”
He looked at me, like stunned a while and then said. “Kalau sakit, jangan jerit. Tak boleh jerit. Kalau sakit, kau cakap “Maaf, saya sakit””
Hello? if you are in pain, can you actually make a conscious effort to say that? Especially when you are caught by surprise and the pain isn’t something you can pretend that it isn’t there.
He then went on to bash one of the freshies or interns, I dunno. Dissing their work ethics and belittling them.
Then he looked at my file and said,“Why does she have hep B? God don’t just give people hep B.”
Wow. thanks for making me feel better and not making me feel like I am about to die in 3 months time. I want to go home, that’s what I thought.
When I heal I want to do the lotus flower dance. #radiohead – Haze
After the operation, I was given morphine. You know, it is a frustration. When you are a girl who doesn’t usually make a sound when you are in pain. And when you are finally in pain and scream and made a show of being in pain, no one takes you seriously.
Oh, its just a dislocation, a sprain. Maaf, saya sakit. Fuck that shit. 2 broken bones and a morphine administration. Now tell me whether I am pretending to be in pain or whether I am pretending I am not in pain.
Just because I am smiling and laughing does not reflect how much pain I was in. It just means I am happy, cuz there are people who are there for me.
Soon, another x-ray came. This is all the metals and screws that are set in me. I myself, did not realize how serious it was until I saw this cuz I did not see the xray with just my bones in it previously.
Eventhough the hospital is far away, my friends came to visit me. KY was there every day from early morning til I fall asleep at night. My mom came to visit me too. I was in the hospital for 4 days and 5 nights. The nights are unbearable, the hospital service is horrid and all I say everyday is, “I want to go home”. But the people that came to be with me everyday made it bearable.
Before I could be released, I need to learn how to walk on crutches. I went thru the whole thing effortlessly, at least I pretended to since I want to go home so bad. After the session, where I learn how to balance and walk I stumbled back to bed once the doctor left.
I didn’t walk until the next day cuz I was so tired and my leg was hurting from the exercise. What happened is my leg is swollen and needs to be elevated to reduce the swelling(doctor din tell me that, it’s from Google) and once I get up straight, the blood rush down and it hurts really bad.
Then there is the wounds and throbbing from the surgery. I had to use the bed pan when I want to urine, let’s not talk about shitting. After the session, I could walk to the toilet though but it was a very difficult task then. Especially since I was wearing XXL patient’s clothings and it kept falling off.
One day before I got discharged, a bunch of doctors checked my progress by taking everything off. This was the first time I saw my wounds and I was shocked. So much blood. My leg was swollen like a pig.
When the doctors saw the wound, it was their turn to be shocked. “Siapa buat stitches ni? Tight sangat laa”. Apparently the surgeon who did the stitches did it so tight that it is hindering my healing process.
They exclaimed a few more times and said I cannot go home. Then left my leg on this blue cloth for an hour with all the blood dripping. A bunch of students came and bandaged me up, giving me alot of pain with their lack of experience.
So much for my first operation, first stay at the hospital. Bad experience, I just want to go home instead of being treated like this. It is so miserable to have people reminding you again and again that it is your fault, it is not my problem if you die, its just a broken leg, why are you screaming.. damn it all.
That night, I slept in a very uncomfortable position after googling on how to eliminate the swelling. I elevated my leg and placed ice on it. I want it to stop swelling so that I can go home. And in the morning, I made KY change my clothes, I was tired of wearing XXL patient’s clothing already.
Finally, I was allowed to go home. It has been a very difficult time for KY and me, both of us are at our limits and we decided that we will break out if I am not allowed to go home on that day anyway. It was difficult getting in to the Satria but I miss home and I was convinced that I will be happier at home.
When you have a fracture, everyone asks the same thing, “So now when you pass the security gate in airports, it’s gonna beep?” – Douglas
I had my first meal at home and finally get to see Cendawan. I was really happy to be back home.
At home, a whole new set of challenges welcomed me. The toilet was too far and using the walker for 100 metres tire me already. It is using arm strength to lift my body each step and hopping on one leg. Soon my good leg’s knee hurts from supporting my body’s weight.
We tried to have a shower and decided that it was too much work and too tiring for both of us. As each day goes by, I feel more and more helpless and useless. KY was doing everything for me, all I do is sit on the sofa everyday and watch TV or work on my Mac. The worst of all is realizing all these without the energy or capability to do anything about it.
This must be how my dad felt when he was bed-ridden. I do not believe that “things happened for a reason”. I believe in “since it happened, might as well learn from this”. Each day, I go through different stages and I understand things I couldn’t have understand a year ago.
My hair was itching a week after my shower and Vinn helpfully suggested the saloon. Picking a saloon, clinic or restaurant now has an added requirement. It must not have a staircase or at least, alot of steps in it. Can’t hop up on one leg. lol.
The car has to be parked right in front of wherever we are going, just 20 metres extra will tire me greatly. Talk about being weak.
That is why, we ended up eating at the saloon. :p Look at my awesome walker btw. Vinn loaned it to me. I have made some improvements to it by adding a bag so that I can carry things around. I intend to put a canvas stretched across it so I could elevate my leg as well but it’s not like I can do that now. hehe
Omg, you are “screwed”? – Ringo
We went back to the hospital all the way in Putrajaya for a check up. I was abit nervous since I was naughty a few times and removed my half-cast due to itchiness or tightness. I was afraid that the alignment of my bones would run.
I was told that it was all good and I had some questions answered as well. My leg will be swollen for another month, pain will end then too. After that I will need to come back for another session and then begin my physiotheraphy. That would take 3 months or less, depending on my progress.
On the 14th day after my surgery, I went to the clinic to remove my stitches. As usual, I found out that I need to remove my sutures from this clinic instead of the hospital. The hospital really do not want to let me know anything?
When the young doctor revealed my wounds, he did a face palm and went, “OMG so many stitches”.
He removed the stitches one by one. It wasn’t painful since it is all bengkak and I had to hear it all again, “The stitches are too tight…” bla bla.. It’s a miracle it did not burst bla bla..
Due to the way my stitches were done, I will have train tracks scars after this whole ordeal. Finally a cyborg. I don’t really hate scars since I have plenty of them, in and out. Even so, this is slightly extreme, don’t you think? lol.
In a month’s time, my cast will come off. And after that, I will have physio. Til then, I’ll be exploring inches of my sofa at home everyday. This whole ordeal made me see what I couldn’t see before. I am very grateful to KY for being there for me and helping me get up on stairs, going to the toilet, cooking for me. He has done everything he could and more.
Everyday he come at 9 with food and stayed with me in the hospital til 11 pm. At home, he cooked and bought me extra channels on Astro! Everything that I could not do, he did them for me.
Going through this experience, I realize how efficient our bodies are. To miss one limb or organ would mean that the rest of the body have to work extra hard to compensate. My arms are sore from using the walker and my other knee is hurting from my body weight. My bad heel are peeling cuz the cast is badly shaped.
To make things worse, sometimes it require more than the rest of the body to compensate. Sometimes, you need the help of others to live your life and I guess that is the most difficult part to handle.
For me, I am not afraid of falling down or injuries but I am still afraid of losing my balance and my control. I have told KY that I will give up longboarding, though I still love it.
Snippet from The Karate Kid 2010Mr. Han Just tell me, Shao Dre. Why?Why you need to go back out there so badly?Dre Because I’m still scared.No matter what happens tonight when I leave……I don’t want to be scared anymore.
the one in pain is not me. i don’t even know you well but seeing you go through this and reading on how the doctors treat you really breaks my heart, leaving me in tears.
doctors job = heal people’s life
what they’re doing = making people’s life difficult
they don’t even deserve to be a doctor.
hope that you’ll heal well and God bless you. :’)
humans used to go thru natural selection when it comes to survival. nowadays its all about social standing and money. I happened to land in a government hospital since it was the nearest. They were cheap. RM 1050 total.
get well soon! I twisted my ankle a month ago and still recovering too. Though it isn’t as serious as urs, I understand the frustration of ‘losing a limb’.
take care 🙂
yeh, recover well pls!! dunch go playing anything first.. I wasn’t healed properly and I went and play longboard again.. that’s how the accident happened.
dammit u got it bad 🙁 /HUGS sorry i haven’t popped around yet, i got my car back, so i can come bearing mango puffs. will whatsapp u
it’s ok. this time I can actually wait for 3 months in the same spot. HAHA.
Didn’t franky had a choo choo train scar also? So you need to run on cola now or morphine. Haha. Good to hear you’re handling this well, since you say it did open your eyes to alot of new things that you couldn’t see before at least the accident is not ENTIRELY an awful thing. I won’t give you an awesome cliche about scars and how they remind us of well…but never give up on your dream. No more longboard, we’ll find something else that won’t break your bones. *smiley*
sigh, i really still wanna play longboard.. i really like it… must we find something else….
lets go rock climbing!! :D:D:D:D
how about a no?
Heal well girl! When I tore my ACL and PCL and was admitted into the hospital, all I wanted to do was run! I understand perfectly your frustrations.. But I bet when you’re all healed you’ll make full use of it! Take care girl! =)
thank you! i m trying not to be notty and take out the cast all the time hehe..
urgh my friend also broke her leg in t’ganu when she jungle trekking, niway was in gh there and was given wrong anesthetic (the pain was for animals or something)! the doc scolded the nurse, then the nurse came back to my friend and u will not belif what she did! slap and pinch her leg and angrily said ‘ada rasa tak?’
actually since the bill was 1k, u can get a medical card liaw, and scream to your heart’s content at private hospital! lol
get well soon, dearie
OMG that’s horrid. i hope the nurse die a horrid horrid death.
you are one though cookie ~ haze !! It was amazing that after all those pain and you still manage to take pictures and not forgetting to smile ^_^… Super love your attitude ~ GET WELL SOON K ^_^
Thank you! I hope my body listens to my will n get well soon too.
we’ll be back on our feet in no time 😀
Our feet yes. 🙂
I TOTALLY understand what you are going through. I broke my ankle a few years back. Was a cybrog too but I took the screws and metal plates out 2 years after recovery. Doctor’s advice is not to leave “alien” object in the body system for too long (unless you are over 50yrs old).
The 2nd operation taking the screws and metal plates out was not as bad as the 1st. GH are really terrible. I was admitted in it after the accident but was quickly transfer to a private hospital. I only have X-Ray incidents to compare to. In GH, they will move your leg to suit for X-Ray but in private hospital, is the X-Ray that move to suit for the X-Ray.
I wish you have a fast recovery as all the feelings you mention, I totally can understand. The need to have someone else to help you go through a day is terrible. I feel like slamming my head on the wall all the time.
PS: Eat a dozens of orange, aloe vera (fresh ones) and vitamin E to help the scars and healing.
I was tearing while reading your blog and it reminds me all of the things I been through during that accident of mine.
You removed the screws? Then I think I will also need to do it sometime soon huh.
I think only people who been thru similar experience can relate as others somewhat think that the cast is just to protect. Instead the cast shows how serious the wound is.
Yes I remove all of it. The doctor say that the screws and metal plates can only last in our body for 20 years. If it get rust we will get infections. Since we are still young, is better to remove it. Maybe by that time you can go to the semi-private hospital, beats GH right?
I agree that only people who been through similar experience can relate to each other.
Do more small exercises on your ankle it helps the recovery.
thats another thing the hospital didn’t tell me -_- thank you for telling me. Guess I have to go thru this again. but i really prefer if i dun have any foreign objects in my body too.
Get some cocoa butter (pure one) it can really help with the scar.
i have been advised to get vitamin e ointment by the nurse, whatever that is. for the scars. lol
The best thing for scars would be Bio Oil. A little pricey, but very good. Ironically enuf, I was introduced to Bio Oil by my aunt who slipped and fell on ice and broke her ankle too, had to have surgery, and her doctors recommended Bio Oil. I use it now for all sorts of other stuff too. One question, I thought government hospital is always free? How come must pay one? 1k is not cheap in a govt hospital.
emu oil works a dream for scars. a friend suggested rose hip oil but i’ve not bothered to try.
anyway, what a nightmarish experience at the hospital! but i guess if it’s not a private hospital they tend to be brusque – got to see that first-hand the last time i broke a bone (seems like a regular occurrence already).
anyway about walking on crutches – well, i had a similar leg injury few years ago, and i found that if you persevere with the crutches you will get used to it and build up the strength to go further. in fact can vault forward and move faster than most people, and with practise can easily go up the stairs.
but if you have an attentive fiance, can just leave it all to him hehehehe. there’s no shame in seeking help from others!
get well soon, haze =)
Oooo so inspiring I also want to vault up the stairs. But won’t your good leg’s knee hurt from the body weight?
Oh it’s free only if you tell them that you have no money. Otherwise you get normal treatment. If you have no money you have to wait longer and stay in a different ward. Anyway where can I get this bio oil?
No money = wait even longer??? @__@ Got such thing ar?? Looks like its time for you to get a medical card. My sis has a Great Eastern one and pays like 150 a month, but she has been sick a few times, and each time masuk private hospital easily, top notch treatment, and no need to pay anything. You can get Bio Oil in most pharmacies. It comes in a white box with orange coloured font. Comes in two sizes I think, the smaller one costs like RM45 or something like that.
yeap it works like that.. i been thinking bout a medical card but i seldom get sick.. 🙁
Get well soon! I can feel the pain by just reading it. My friend had operation in the same hospital, appendicitis surgery took her 5 hours and she has 2 scars now instead of 1 coz they operated the wrong place -.-
my ex was there when he broke his collarbone too. they let him wait with a broken bone for 4 hours in the cold air con room without a blanket. it was so horrid he transferred back to Assunta.
Really horrible hospital.
Hey Haze! Gosh, I feel your pain – had to have screws, pins and wires inserted into my right ankle after a hit and run accident, and the doc was a real idiot as well. I’d already had bad abrasions on my ankle from the tar road, and he just bunched the skin together when he stitched – left a pretty gnarly scar! :s
Best to have the metal taken out after about a year – saves the hassle of having to explain everytime you go through the airport, plus your bones won’t ache when there’s temperature changes cos of the metal.
Get well soon!! 😀
PS: not sure if this’ll help, but I was told to avoid eating too much black sauce while the wound was healing – my grandma claimed it would make the scar dark! (not sure how true it is though…I sneaked a couple plates of hokkien mee but my scar isn’t that dark lol)
Yeh I think I have to remove the metal next year. Sigh.
eh cannot reply to your reply. think too many nested replies comments already? i didn’t get knee pain from body weight… maybe because i put most of the weight on my underarms (yes, i suffered a bit of armpit pain instead). and then i learnt to not do that either, but hold myself up without having my armpits touch the crutches. the impact to your good knee you can minimize by not landing so hard and wearing a good shoe.
to be honest, i got so used to my crutches i was almost sad to see them go. no more vaulting, and no more whacking annoying people over the head with a crutch. kekekeke.
irene please don’t always wanna whack ppl!
ky: mana ada lah! i only whacked the idiot who thought yanking at my crutch to startle me was a mighty funny joke.
Hi Haze get well soon..i went through the same experience,every bit of it..fractured both of my arms..ask KY he knows about it..just got released by my physiotherapist.
You might want to check whether you can do physio at other place, coz when i was in physio heard that there is a good and highly recommended physio center in damansara..next is Ampang Puteri..
oh nice to meet you! Good to hear bout your arms healing 🙂 I’ll ask KY to get the physio center address from you 😀
Hi Haze hope your doing good. I read word for word of this post and the previous one on tips for caring for a bed ridden patient and as a 3rd year medical student i cant begin to thank you for such a vivid insight on your personal experience. It has definitely been very useful for me. The next time im talking to a patient i’ll be sure to bear all of this in mind.
Heh… good luck with your education. Don’t let the daily grinding blind you from treating patients with respect 🙂
wtf babe.. can u pls atleast be more careful dah la u so clumsy.. omg
Now you know you are not indestructible.
Injuries can change ones life.
It is sad and disappointing that your surgeon was so unprofessional and not compassionate in the OR. His poor stiching technique speaks poorly as does his manners.
Using crutches is not easy, but you will develop more upper body stregnth. Something most females have difficulty developing.
I trust your recovery will go well. There is a reason you are having to live life in a slower lane.
My wife has stainless steal screws and rods in both her feet from corrective surgeries. She also has a small titanium plate in her skull from a craniotomy that successfully removed a benighn tumour some years ago.
Weclome to living with metal.
You are fortunate you live in a warm climate.
If you ever travel to a cold part of the world you find your leg is a reliable weather forecaster!
When you reflect upon life lessons from this experience I look forward to reading your thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your ordeal. Get well soon Haze. Kuods to KY! 🙂
Poor poor haze,wondering bout the `tight stitches’.Could it be sengaja inflicted by that doctor who mentioned its not nice to scream eventhough if you are in pain ? GH ? Scared ! Scared !Do consider an insurance medical card.Get well soon.
Wow you have the exact same injury my mom has. She fractured her ankle in 3 places, 2 of the fractures were on the big bones. They had to put pins in her ankle too, her xray looks just like your’s. She had the boot though and not an actual cast, and she also refused to wear it because she said it hurt. I was worried at first, but I talked the her PT and she said that the cast is only really necessary for walking to take pressure off your foot. Good thing she wore it when walking. But she’s been pretty immobilized ever since.
Her foot was just as swollen as yours. Be prepared for a lot of dead skin when your cast comes off from lack of blood circulation. Her PT told her to soak her foot in epsom salt and baking soda and it’s helped greatly with her skin and the swelling!
I stumbled across this entry of yours while I was searching google for sites that could give me some insight as to what I could expect for my own injury. I’m sorry that you went through such an ordeal, but this blog made me happy to know that I was not the only one going through something like this!
I also broke both of the bones in my ankle (they called it “bimalleolar fracture”, and the xray of my new hardware looks almost EXACTLY like yours- except on the other foot. Aaaaaand, I did mine while longboarding, too. I know what you mean about the pain, it’s very hard to deal with. I think that the mental part was worse though… My foot was facing the wrong way! At least my boyfriend and the ambulance got
there fast! They got mad at me when I wouldn’t let them cut my shoe off though…
At least my stay in the hospital was much more pleasant than yours, by the sounds of it. My surgeon was a bitch, but everyone else was really nice! Also, it’s very nice in Canada because our healthcare is free, more or less. What country do you live in?
I’ve only seen my scars once when they changed my cast and took the staples out, so I don’t really remember what it looks like. Now, I have one of those hard casts on, but I want it off so badly!!!
How is your ankle doing now? Are you going to longboard again?
Thanks again for writing such a detailed entry! 🙂
hi hazel, i wonder if you had your plate removed by now? i had similar injuries 2 years ago and was contemplating whether I should leave the plate in permanently as advised by doctor. Personally I would like to have it remove but afraid of risk of re fracture since there will holes after removing the screws
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